Written by Christine Estera, July 29, 2016

It’s only early days on The Bachelor but already there are tears, tantrums and tense moments.

Well, with 19 women and one Richie, it’s expected. And boy, are there some colourful characters thrust into the mansion this season. Keira and Eliza, we’re looking at you!

But unlike the movies where the sequels are never as good, episode two of the Bach certainly delivered. Here’s “the rundown, the D-low, the 411” from last night’s ep. Popcorn, please!

1. Get to the chopper! But only Nikki, 28. She was flown to a secluded beach for some champagne and coconuts with Richie, because, according to Eliza, #IslandLife. For those playing at home, Nikki was the first to meet Richie, now she landed the first date and got the first kiss. Trifecta!

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2. We find out that clubbing until three or four in the morning isn’t Richie’s “jam”. Good to know. Let’s be sure to add that purler onto our list of Richie-isms.

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3. There were no cool inflatable bananas but there was a watermelon during Richie’s photo shoot with Kiki, 28, Faith, 26, and Toylna, 31. But they both failed in comparison to the, er, inflatables “sex on legs” Kiki was rocking under her leopard-print cossie!

4. Lady Eliza, 31, showed Richie she doesn’t just sing, she dances too! Double-threat right there! But forget twerking – this gal was quirking her way into Bachie’s heart during the retro shoot. She jazzed, jived and Paso Doble-d around Richie, who politely bopped along. Cha, cha, nah.

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5. Meanwhile, in the makeshift diner, Keira, 29, was hoping her milkshake would bring Richie to her yard. But waitress Sasha, 31, was fiercely cock-blocking her. So much awks!

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6. Saving the best for last, Richie and Alex, 24, cosied up on a red Cadillac. She felt very Bond girl, he like a T-Bird. The moneyshot came when the photog instructed Bachie to go in for the kiss “but holding it off”. The chemistry was Grease Lightning!

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7. Olena, 23, channelled her inner Ukrainian spy when she interrogated Richie during their single date. She didn’t attack him with her eyes this time, instead she fired hard-hitting questions at him. Poor Richie’s heart seemed to race as fast as the motorbike they rode on, but he handled her questions about life, family and future with finesse. Tick, tick, tick. Oh, and she also got to see his bachelor pad.

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8. Keira didn’t like a lot of things in last night’s ep, but what infuriated her most was when Alex used her White Rose privileges prematurely. The women faced off at the cocktail party with Keira pretty much blasting the single mum for hogging Richie. D-d-drama! With the background music adding to the suspense, Alex threw some shade of her own. “If you don’t care, be quiet,” she exclaimed. Well, she is used to handling a five-year-old…

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9. While frontrunner Megan, 27, didn’t go on any group or single dates this week, she’s well aware that her biggest competition is Alex. But this coolly confident free-diver and free spirit even sided with the yummy mummy during her tug-o-words with Keira. You know what they say, keep your friends close and your fellow contestants closer…

10. We got Destiny’s Child flashbacks when Laura, 25, willed Richie to “say my name, say my name” at the Rosetorium. But he didn’t, and she was eliminated along with Mia, 24. Soz Loz.

Until next week, Bachie friends!

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